Moment Of Clarity

I can dodge and jab
Three shots couldn't touch me
Thank God for that

Well, Im Back. Not on Xanga, Felt I should start blogging again to share my experiences with who ever is reading, so it could not only help you, But Help me.  I guess I should Introduce myself, & also explain the title itself..

Hi, My name is Daze.. aka King of Brooklyn. I'm a brother, a Son, A lover, A Gangsta, A writer not rapper, And I try to live the best way I know how. 

But I'll spare you the big portions until later.

I write from the heart... honest, true, and with whatever comes to my mind at the moment... 

Well I Recently took a trip to Dallas, and Had a moment of clarity..

clar·ity (klar′ə tē) noun ~ the quality or condition of being clear; clearness...


I'm taking in all my surroundings, My brothers place, and his place in California. How beautiful things were, How great it was to be out of NY. How beautiful and Kind the women were, and Just enjoying my time away. But in the back of my mind, Im going crazy, Im depressed, Im hurt, Im unloved, Im weakening by the second. My brother then takes me and my mother to this famous preachers church.. TD Jakes.. I for one dont have any faith or belief in the church. But That will come at a later time. But Im always willing to listen, And the things he was saying, kind of touched my heart, Opened my eyes... Dont get me wrong, Im still a fucced up individual who will Keep the lessons the Streets of Brooklyn taught me till the day I die.. But one thing he said made me realize that im fuccin up. 
My life, My job, my heart, My family.. As the preacher said, we all put on "the best representatives of ourselves".. The fact that were acting strong in the front of the crowd, But are actually hurt or lacking in other areas. When he said that, I realize that Im not happy in any portion of my life. And I honestly Dont do anything for myself. I overextend myself for others, and put others happiness in front of my own.


And where did that get me? With a college degree fighting out of debt, Cant get into the career that will make me happy.. At a Job where I've been begging for help from the laziness, the ghetto-ness and the straight foolishness for 5 Fuccin YEARS! and nothing. Ive been a strong, Reliable, caring individual for everyone else but myself? Does that make sense..


I sat back and noticed my mother give her all and help others without question just to see her get played in the end.. So I have to blame her. Cause in the end... who really cares about you? for me.. A smaller few than I actually thought. Who actually asks me how Im doing.. and means it... genuinely cares... ? Not the people who I thought. Who calls you to make sure your ok, when your hurt, in pain and down and out?
When you sit back and notice.. Everyone is out for self, and willing to use you till your last drop and throw you away when your un-use able..
So Moment of Clarity..
Live your life, For your self,... and for the ones deserving. You need to make yourself Happy in ALL areas of your life. Its like working out. IF you work on your arms and chest all the time. Your going to have chicken legs and injuries... Get it? Your self happiness is the most important and YOU need to make sure your happy before anyone else will. Because.. face it.. No one really cares.. well some do.. but those rare people are one in a million...


So.. Im going to get out of this go no where job, Gonna get into my career, Im going to find that woman of my dreams*well.. I think thats at the end of my list * And Just live life.. Ive been in tons of life threatening situations... Trying to be a legit business man made me lose the realization that You almost were dead tons of times, so Live the life your Living.. So.. from this day forward.. I am... .. A new.. well Old me...


Until then....


Signed.. A lost Breed... .


Next Topic : Decisions... Bad, Good, & Horrible... : My Life..